I feel like a complete failure because I haven’t had any children

Question

Peace be upon you!
My problem is I’ve been married for five years and I haven’t had any children yet. I always think to myself: Allah did not ordain this for me, so how can I receive  what has not been written for me?! However, I feel great pain in myself. I do not like to think of how old I am or how much time has elapsed in my marriage. I always think and feel afraid that my husband would marry another woman, moreover, I fear getting old without having children. I am always sad and feel that I did not do anything in this life. I always ask my husband: If we went back to when we were young, would you marry me? He replies: Yes, of course. But I ask myself: What have I given him for marrying me? Nothing. I am doing my MA at university now, however, I am preoccupied and I have not felt comfort since we first tried for children 5 years ago.
Help me, I always think about my husband and about one time he once asked me when he was mad, and up to now I have not forgotten it because it affected me greatly and when I recall it, I feel very sad. He said to me: ‘What have I done since our marriage? What have I achieved?’ I said to him: ‘We are the same like all couples.’ He said to me: ‘At least, so and so have children, but what have I done? Nothing.’ Then, I could not speak, but I have never forgotten that speech.
Pardon me because my speech is not well-arranged, but help me please and supplicate Allah to grant me offspring sooner not later.

Answer

My dear sister, may Allah help you. As-salamu `Alaykum warahmatullah wabarakatuh (May Allah’s Peace, Mercy, and Blessings be upon you!).

You did not specifically tell us the reason for your pregnancy delay and you did not mention any procedures and examinations you did with your husband to know the reasons for pregnancy delay.

If you haven’t done any tests, you should move at once and pursue the possible means because it is not part of being pleased with the fate of Allah (Glory be to Him) to sit and wait for children without taking actions, for sky does not rain gold or silver as Al Farouq `Umar ibn Al Khattab (may Allah be pleased with him) said.

I advise you to ask for forgiveness because asking for forgiveness is the key of sustenance as Nuh (Noah) (Peace be upon him) said to his people: “I said (to them): ‘Ask forgiveness from your Lord, Verily, He is Oft-Forgiving; * He will send you (from the sky) abundant rain. * And give you increase in wealth and children, and bestow on you gardens and bestow on you rivers'” [Surat Nuh: 10 -12].

I advise you to invoke Allah frequently, especially, with the invocations of Prophet Zechariah (Peace be upon him): “And (remember) Zakariyyâ (Zechariah), when he cried to his Lord: “O My Lord! Leave me not single (childless), though You are the Best of the inheritors.” * So We answered his call, and We bestowed upon him Yahyâ (John), and cured his wife (to bear a child) for him. Verily, they used to hasten on to do good deeds, and they used to call on Us with hope and fear, and used to humble themselves before Us.” [Surat Al Anbiya’: 89 -90].

Perhaps Allah the Ever-Generous may answer your invocations as He responded to the supplications of His Prophet Zechariah (peace be upon him).

May Allah guide you in your study, grant you and your husband, good children, now, not later. O Allah, Amen!