Question
I am a girl who was going astray but Allah guided me and I found happiness in Salah. Then, at school, I met a girl whom I loved very much, and since then I lost happiness as well as the sweetness of faith, and now I do not perform Salah but lazily and only the obligatory Salah, what should I do?
Answer
In the name of Allah who guides people to the truth and He is the One whose aid is to be implored.
Dear sister, there are some things in life which people naturally hate, but they should be endured as long as they lead to Paradise. The Messenger of Allah (peace said be upon him) said: “Paradise is surrounded by adversities, whereas Hell is surrounded by lusts.” [Reported by Muslim]. Obligatory duties are one of the hardest things on oneself that surely will lead to Paradise. For example, Jihad in the cause of Allah is one of the matters people naturally hate, Allah says: “Fighting has been enjoined upon you while it is hateful to you” [Surat Al Baqarah: 216]. Salah is heavy and hard, Allah says: “And truly it is extremely heavy and hard except for Al Khâshi’ûn [i.e. the true believers in Allah – those who obey Allah with full submission, fear much from His Punishment, and believe in His Promise (Paradise) and in His Warnings (Hell)].” [Surat Al Baqarah: 45]. Ibn Kathir said in the explanation of his Ayah: “And truly it is extremely heavy,” it is very hard and anything that is hard for oneself is considered abhorred. Hajj is full of hardships, fasting contains abstention from eating, drinking, and sexual intercourse, and Zakah is obligatory although it is against the human nature which is loving money, Allah says: “And they give food, in spite of their love for it (or for the love of Him).” [Surat Al Baqarah: 177].
So, the general rule is that the way to Paradise is unpaved and full of troubles and pain, and the first step in this way is Salah. “And truly it is extremely heavy and hard except for Al Khashi’un [i.e. the true believers in Allah – those who obey Allah with full submission, fear much from His Punishment, and believe in His Promise (Paradise) and in His Warnings (Hell)].” [Surat Al Baqarah: 45]. Submissiveness as Shaykh-ul-Islam (may Allah be pleased with him) defined in Majmu` Al Fatawa is: Submission to Allah (may He be Exalted) and full comfort and tranquility by heart and organs to Him. When your organs submit to Allah (Glory be to Him) and your heart feels comfort, Salah will be a delight and pleasure for you as it was in the sight of the Prophet (peace be upon him: “The Messenger of Allah said: In this world, women and perfume have been made dear to me, and my comfort has been provided in Salah.” [Reported by Imam Ahmad and An-Nasa’i]. Ibn Al Qayyim (may Allah bestow mercy on his soul) said in his book “Tariq Al Hijratayn“: The delight of the eye is above love, so the Prophet (peace be upon him) loved women and perfume and informed the people that the delight of the heart and his extreme joy and gladness was in Salah which is the connection between a person and his Lord: Standing before Him, speaking to him, and drawing nearer to Him.”
So, when the love of that girl possessed your heart, Salah retreated from being the delight of the heart to the second rank and that girl became in the first rank and that made Salah heavy for yourself.
If the love which has gathered between you and that girl had been for the sake of Allah, it would have been an incentive for you to do all the acts of worship happily including the establishment of Salah and maintaining As-Sunan Al Rawatib (supererogatory acts that were stressed and regularly performed by the Prophet) and you would have tasted the sweetness of faith as Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said: “Whoever possesses the following three qualities will have the sweetness (delight) of faith: 1. The one to whom Allah and His Messenger becomes dearer than anything else. 2. Who loves a person and he loves him only for the sake of Allah. 3. Who hates to revert to atheism (disbelief) as he hates to be thrown into the Hell-Fire.” [Reported by Al Bukhari and Muslim].
However, your love was not for the sake of Allah and you know that for sure. So, you should purify this love from dirt and desires so as to be happy when performing Salah and to taste the sweetness of faith by the will of Allah (may He be Exalted), which will not be achieved but through restraining self-desires. “As for those who strive hard in Us (Our Cause), We will surely guide them to Our Paths (i.e. Allah’s Religion – Islamic Monotheism). And verily, Allah is with the Muhsinun (good doers).” [Surat Al `Ankabut: 69]. The most obligatory type of Jihad is restraining self whims and desires and resisting Satan and the world, so whoever fights these four for the sake of Allah, Allah shall guide him to the ways that lead to His Paradise, and whoever abandons Jihad shall miss an amount of guidance similar to the part he missed in Jihad. [Al Fawa’id of Ibn Al Qayyim].
You may also supplicate Allah with this invocation and the like: “O Allah! I ask You for Your Love, the love of those who love You, and deeds which will cause me to attain Your Love. O Allah! Make Your Love dearer to me than myself, my family and the cold water in thirst. O Allah, make me beloved to you, to Your Angels, Your Prophets, Your Messengers, and Your Righteous Servants. O Allah, revive my heart with Your Love, and make me as You love. O Allah, make me love You with all my heart and to satisfy you with all my efforts. O Allah make my entire love to You and all my efforts for Your Sake.
I ask Allah to make Salah the delight of your eyes and make your love to your friend for the sake of Allah. May Allah forgive you and help you remembering and thanking Him, Amen!
Allah (Glory be to Him) is the best knowledgeable of what is right, and to Him we shall return.
