Family May thousands of blessings be upon the Holy Prophet (sallallahu alaihi wasallam), a mercy for the worlds, and blessings also upon the true religion of Allah revealed to him. Islam has brought the world out of darkness by establishing the criterion of right and wrong and has taught respect for others. It has established justice and enjoined the rights of women and men as being duties to be performed by each. Islam has bestowed freedom and independence upon women and has also conferred upon them full ownership and authority over their lives and property, like it has upon men. No one, be he a father a grandfather can oblige a woman to marry someone against her wishes. Should she be married without her consent, the validity of such a contract becomes solely dependent upon her whole hearted acceptance, failing which it is annulled.
It is the wife’s right to be provided with a suitable residence which allows her comfort and privacy. To ensure the wife’s independence, the Islamic Law (Shariah) has given her the exclusive right over her home, in that none of the husband’s dependents or relatives may live in the same dwelling without her willingness and consent.
Providing a separate dwelling may become mandatory even if the in-laws insist on living together. However if the parents are crippled, they may be included in the family. (Reported by Durr-i Mukhtar)
Another consideration from the requirements for suitable residence is that the neighbourhood should be of virtuous people amidst whom the wife does not experience fear or loneliness.
“House women wherever you reside, according to your circumstances, and do not harass them in order to make life difficult for them.” (Qur’an, Surah At-Talaq, 65:6)
Kind and friendly treatment towards the wife’s relatives is expected of the husband, so much so that her senior blood relations should also be regarded as his elders. If the wife’s parents are ill or incapacitated with no one to serve them, the wife has the right to look after them as often as required even if they are disbelievers. The husband has no right to prevent her from doing so.
Asma (radhiallahu anha) said, “My mother who was a pagan, came with her father during the period of the peace pact between the Muslims and the Quraish infidels. I went to seek the advice of the Prophet (sallallahu alaihi wasallam) saying, My mother has arrived and she is hoping (for my favour).” The Prophet (sallallahu alaihi wasallam) said, “Yes, be good to your mother.” (Good treatment implies good behaviour; helping her financially; visiting her etc.) (Reported by Bukhari)
Islam has granted both married and single women the incontestable right to retain any wealth or properties in their own names, and they have the unequivocal authority to independently carry out any transactions of acquisitions and sales concerning such holdings.
Thus no male has the authority to spend from the wealth and property of a female without her permission. Women remain fully independent and cannot be coerced in any way. Even in the event of divorce or their husband’s death, women get their share of inheritance as stipulated by Islamic Law in the same way as men get their share. However, unlike men, women are not responsible for maintaining any relative, irrespective of their sound financial standing. The husband is not at liberty to help his relatives at the detriment of his own family.
Narrated Abu Huraira (radhiallahu anhu): Allah’s Apostle (sallallahu alaihi wasallam) said,
“The best alms is that which you give when you are rich, and you should support your dependents first.” (Reported by Bukhari)
Abu Huraira (radhiallahu anhu) reported Allah’s Messenger (sallallahu alaihi wasallam) as saying:
“Of the dinar (money) that you spend as a contribution in Allah’s path, or to set free a slave, or as charity given to a needy, or to support your family, the one yielding the greatest reward is that which you spent on your family.” (Reported by Muslim)
If the husband does not provide for his family, the wife can take of his wealth what is sufficient for her needs and the needs of her children, in a reasonable way.
The Islamic Law revealed to the Prophet, upon whom be thousands of blessings, teaches that pleasing women and spending for their welfare is a form of worship. Should the husband fail to grant her essential rights, she has the recourse of Islamic Law to secure the same or else compel him to divorcee her. (The vast rights of women in matters of divorce, alimony, child custody, etc., may be seen in books of Islamic Jurisprudence) To prevent injustice and distress, it is in-sufficient to fulfill rights that merely satisfy the letter of the Law. The underlying spirit of the Law is equally important. Therefore, according to Islam the social norms are an additional criterion to determine if the parties are suffering injustice. Hence Islam forbids those attitudes and dealings which inflict injury or annoyance according to the established norms of society. For example, ignoring someone in a given society might be more painful than in another society. These matters cannot be dealt with in courts of Law, therefore they are encompassed by this provision of “social norms.”
Common usage is (binding like) a condition:
Removing ladies from the guardianship of men leads to chaos and is in itself a form of encroaching upon women’s rights. Just as Islam has checked the cruelty and injustice of violating the rights of women, likewise it upholds that burdening them to fend for themselves and their withdrawal from the leadership of men is an infringement of their rights. Neither can the woman’s delicate constitution endure this hardship nor can her management of domestic affairs and her honourable natural function of nurturing her children bear this distraction. Therefore, along with mentioning women’s rights, the Qur’an declares that men are a degree above women, which simply alludes to their obligation of being responsible for women, as explained earlier. There are dire warning for any negligence on the part of men in fulfilling this ordained duty.
Allah has warned:
“You who believe, shield yourselves and your families from a fire whose fuel will be men and stones…” (Qur’an, Surah At-Tahrim, 66:6)
In preceding verses, the Prophet (sallallahu alaihi wasallam) was enjoined to urge his wives to do good. The above verse emphasises this as a duty for all Muslims. Men have been exhorted not to be heedless about shaping the character of their family.
When this ordinance was revealed, Umar (radhiallahu anhu) mentioned, “O Messenger of Allah! It is understandable to worry about saving oneself from Hell-fire (by avoiding sins and adhering firmly to the Divine Commandments), but how can we save our families from Hell?”
Allah’s Prophet (sallallahu alaihi wasallam) responded:
“This can be achieved by dissuading your family from whatever Allah has forbidden you and by enjoining the deeds which Allah has enjoined on you. Your family can thus be saved from Hell.”
The Muslim jurists have explained that it is obligatory to arrange for the religious education and training of the wife and children. Men whose families are ignorant of religion will suffer the most severe punishment in the Hereafter. The following forewarning is included for those who believe in Allah as their Lord on Whom we are totally dependent, and who also believe in the compassion of His Prophet Muhammad (sallallahu alaihi wasallam).
“Beware, each of you is a guardian and each of you will be questioned about your wards. The man is the guardian of his family and will be answerable about every member of it…”(Reported by Mishkat)
According to another hadith:
“The one to whom Allah entrusted the responsibility of supervision but he did not perform this duty satisfactorily, and did not impart good instructions; will not even smell the fragrance of Paradise.” (Reported by Mishkat)
